SHAM WOW!

Most things dont impress me, shamwow does.....



you WILL be saying wow everytime.

Eurovision

The stage is set, the lights are on, the idiots are ready. Thats right it's Eurovision time..... It seems everytime this contest comes around I cant help but imagine if Eurovision was taken really seriously, maybe we would see one of the greatest music spectacles ever. If Daft Punk or Serge Gainsbourg were to represent France, Radiohead or the Rolling Stones for Britain, The Hives or some metal band from Sweden, Pavarotti for Italy, U2 or My Bloody Valentine for Ireland, Belle and Sebastian or Mogwai for Scotland, Kraftwerk or Rammstein for Germany and for Iceland Sigur Ros or Bjork. What a truly great event that would be...... I think it can happen to, but then I think to myself, It would be good for a year then I think we would all miss the amazing performance of many a talented failed actor, model or performer from across Europe, it truly is a wonderous thing this, it serves only the finest in C-grade entertainment straight to your doorstep, year after year after year. Bad costumes, shit songs, and sleasy slightly pornographic dance routines, this is what makes Eurovision. So here is a Toast; To Eurovision, the only show that i have ever found that can make me laugh and give me an erection at the same time.

Christopher Walken reads 3 little pigs

Now, if you haven't seen this, then, your exactly like I was before I saw it.........

Animals Doing Things They Shouldn't Be Doing

And now it is time for more of the appropriately named yet hilarious game "Animals Doing Things They Shouldn't Be Doing", in this installment is a Cat drinking a beer!!!



CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT?!?!?!? What kind of cat drinks a beer? none that I know, I mean, yes, dogs talking is pretty fucking special, but this tops it. I only have a few problems with this photo.... Firstly, although its paw is on the bottle.... I don't think it can actually grab it. Secondly, im not sure a cats mouth actually works like that...... I mean, I think it wouldn't open far enough to rest the bottle properly, isn't that why they always use their tongues to drink? and Finally......and probably my biggest problem with this photo (that seems to become more obvisouly doctored by the second) is that the cat is drinking Miller Chill..... I thought cats were fussy about what they ate and drank, they are probably the biggest snobs in the animal kingdom and yet this cat is drinking this horribly shitty beer.....it just doesn't add up....

So, yeah, I guess its pretty cool to see a picture of a cat that looks like it is drinking a beer.... but I think the man that took this photo should have made it more realistic, more believable, im not saying it definitely did not happen (maybe it had a sip after the flash went off) but if this amateur wants me to believe his cat can actually drink beer, he needs to either get a photo of the cat actually drinking from the bottle.....or have it sitting next to a Chimay or at the very least Stella Artois.......but that would promote domestic abuse in alleyways, in trees and on fences worldwide.....so probably best if they steer clear of the Stella

THE McGANG BANG

I saw this picture on the website www.thisiswhyyourfat.com (go check it out, hillarious) of a burger that was intriguingly named the "McGang Bang it was a double cheeseburger split in half with a McChicken Burger placed in the middle. Anyway, I have always been one for a challenge, like the time I walked across my street at 3:15am in the morning without looking both ways or the time I put two of my fingers in the asshole of the stringray that killed Steve Irwin or when I burnt off John Howards eyebrows after he passed out one time when we were pissed (the ones you saw were implants) or the time I bet my friends I couldn't get rid of Harold Holt and get away with it......over 41 years later and im still clean.... anyway, I decided to get one of these burgers just to see how it would be....



...........it was awesome!

............

It is such a wonderous occassion when one stumbles across a video of their friends on youtube....... this is not one of those times.

Here is a video of my good friends William and Andre (there is usually an accent on the "e" in andre but i couldnt be fucked going to the trouble) playing wii tennis in france, i know, i know it sounds exotic but it is about as interesting as watching Al Gore recharge his electric car for 6 hours. I only put it here so that it may waste a part of someone elses existence too.

Watch it if you have exactly 3 minutes and 18 seconds (plus loading time) of your life to waste, if you have more time on your hands.....I suggest masterbation...

Zach Galifinakas - Pre School Monologue

Zach Galifinakas is one of the funniest comedians in the world right now, and it is easy to see why when he takes his warm-up monologue to a pre school......



.......more zach to come.

OH MY GOD! THAT DOG CAN TALK!!!

These dogs have been taught to speak......nuff said




Check back in future months to see other animals doing things they shouldn't be able to do.

O'Reilly moment pt.1

What would this blog be if it failed to provide some of the classic moments in the career of one of American T.V's greatest gifts to the rest of the world: Mr. Bill O'Reilly...... If you haven't seen this one, enjoy. For the majority of you who have it may be comforting to know that there are always people out there more insane and ridiculous than you could ever hope to be.

Activists.......

If you know me, then you know by now that I love taking the piss and making fun of any activist group that doesn't seem to:

a) Have a valid point or argument
or
b) Have any common sense whatsoever.

So, naturally when I see a video of these tree-hugging, if not, tree-fucking, individuals it gives me a great sense of joy as it isn't impossible for one to create a link between the people in this video and some of my very intelligent friends who often also fight for quite ridiculous causes (cough) Shack House (cough) (cough)

So, what better way to start off this blog then a video of some of the single funniest people ever caught on tape.